Reset

The moon and the sky taken in Bagnara Calabra.

My mind burned out from trading and needed a reset. So, I took off and traveled to Italy with a few friends.

Did I have the money for that? Not really, but it was worth every penny.

I went off the grid for three weeks and really tried hard to soak it all in. I learned that I didn't really need to try at all. All I needed was to relax and I never understood that until now. I worry way too much and it affects my trading. It causes me not to give trades a real shot and to get out of them prematurely. Worrying makes me a bad trader and the only solution is to relax.

I'd like to thank Italy for realizing that and resetting my brain. It was much needed and I would go back in a heartbeat if I could. But for now, I think it's time for me to trade consistently.

Playing Not To Lose

Nothing has changed. I have not learned from my own lessons and every trade I've been taking has been reinforcing my bad habits. I can't blame anyone but myself. My head is not in the right place because I have been playing not to lose.

My cycle has become losing confidence when I trade poorly, not trading when I lose confidence, and trading scared when I trade. This is the cycle to failure and I need to snap out of it. I must assume that all the money I put in the market is lost and trade with no pressure. Even if a trade doesn't work, it doesn't matter because there will always be a next trade. I just have to make sure my plan minimizes risk and trade correctly.

I have noticed that my two biggest problems right now have been my poor entries and sizing. These are the biggest culprits of how I am losing the majority of my money. These are the only two problems I will fix until they are eliminated. Once they are, then I will move on to my other problems.

I have been talking a lot of bullshit lately and haven't been taking action. Now I will take action.

Changes

I have made much needed changes to the site and now it's time for me to make a few changes. I've noticed that my progress on becoming a solid trader has grown stagnant and I refuse to fuck around any longer. This isn't because I want to rush things, but I do have some time constraints. If I don't make it, then everything I worked for will go to waste because I will be forced back to hell. I have all the tools now and I need to trade to learn the strategies that I believe are viable.

I have been negative throughout my posts and I don't believe it is doing anything but bringing me down. I will make it my mission to start being more positive and to bring back positive thinking in my life.

How do I become better?  
1. I will start posting my thoughts on the market conditions daily. 
2. I will post a daily watchlist and form a plan each prior day. 

3. I must become more confident in myself. No more negativity from here on out.

4. I will go over at least one video lesson per day from Investors Underground and take notes to better understand the strategies.

5. I will focus on trading every morning as every day I don't trade correctly is a day wasted. 

I noticed that I haven't been working hard enough. But now, I must work harder and smarter than ever before if I am going to make it.

Eleventh: Kill Me

Summary

Today, I fucked up by not listening to my gut. I fucked up by not following my rules. I fucked up by acting too emotional. All these put together have left me in a state of depression. I used to think that I needed more time, but now I think it's something different. I trained my brain to lose. My win rate since the beginning of December has been 12% which means I only won one out of my eight trades. Maybe all this is a sign that I was made to lose so others can win. Maybe I subconsciously like to lose because it sure looks that way. I am hesitant on low risk winning trades and constantly take trades that are high risk and low reward. 

I think I am going to switch my strategy to actively look for ways to lose. I don't want to win anymore. Hey market, come and wipe out my $1500 account. Come and fucking kill me while you're at it. I don't give a fuck anymore.  

Ticker: FNSR

A beautiful setup.

Note: How perfect can this be? A gap up above all the resistance and clear skies above. 

The opportunity I missed.

Note: After writing this, I think I figured out what was wrong with me. I am scared of being wrong and I must admit it to get better. If I don't admit this, I will never get better.

Note: I need to realize that it is okay to be wrong. 

I tried to play the continuation, but it didn't work.

Note: I am happy how I didn't stick around as soon as I saw the stuff. This is the type of improvement I have been looking for.  

Ticker: UDF

After its lows, the chart came back and I was anticipating a long. This play was a fuck up.

Note: There was no point in time that this trade was viable. I was a fucking idiot for considering this without referring to other time frames.

The other time frame

 Note: Again, I must investigate other time frames to see if the trade is worth it.

Ticker: MNGA

I got in for the lower high, but it went higher.

Note:This chart just didn't work. Perhaps I could have been a little more patient to see if it confirms. 

Ticker: GLW

I ran out of patience.

Note: I ran out of patience and took the profit. The two plays here were to set stop higher and be patient or to grab the profit. Since it was 14:30-15:30, I wanted to grab the profit.

Please let me know if you have any comments or opinions. I would like to know if you have spotted any mistakes in my logic.

My Trading Journey Thus Far

My $2500 account I started in June dwindled to nothing in three short months. I didn't stand a chance. Thus I took a long break to grind up a new account. In the process, I realized I was earning $6 an hour instead of losing $100 in a few minutes which was refreshing. I started to lose interest in trading because I never won. I earned more money busting ass for a few months than the whole two years I traded. Knowing that, I thought I was just a shit trader and no amount of studying would get me to a level where I could make at least $10 a day. I always lost money trading and it was so fucking irritating.

When I made more than enough to refill my account,  I didn't even know if I wanted to to add it into my account. I didn't know if I even wanted to trade anymore. I grew tired, scared, and directionless.

Then I was reminded that I had a choice to make. I have a choice of doing things on my own terms or I could waste 2 more years of my life at some place that sucks my soul dry and takes at least $20,000 from me. My time is limited and I have to run towards the light before it's too late.

I refilled my account with $1500. Let's see what I'm made of.

I'm a Loser

 I'M A LOSER

Since we last talked, I traded away a fuck ton of money because I'm a undisciplined piece of shit. I'm no 1337 trader; I'm a fucking fraud. My positive thinking is shit because I've been lying to myself. I ignore my own advice because I think it's all fun and games. My trade reviews are unclear and unfocused. I got my head stuck so far up my ass that I don't even realize that I'm pissing all my money away. 

Does this mean I quit?  
NO

I have to start over and do things the right way. It means constantly making trade reviews to keep myself accountable. It means slapping myself five times before I confirm the trade. It means doing whatever the fuck I need to do to get back on track. Trading is very rewarding but is no joke. I must be always on my A-game to even break even with commissions. Anything else and I'm just wasting my time.

The reality is I either change now or I should just give all my money to some bum on the street. He'll probably use it better than I can.

So to end, some wise words from VinnyB: "The money is out there, you just gotta take it or I have no sympathy for you".